When Violet de Florio, just eight, takes to the grand stage of New York City Ballet’s holiday season ‘The Nutcracker,’ she’s not just stepping into the spotlight—she’s joining her mom, Ashley Bouder, a history-making principal dancer of the same company. This mother-daughter duo adds a new chapter to the ballet’s legacy as Violet performs as an angel and Bouder as the Sugarplum Fairy.
Ashley Bouder, a veteran with 24 years of experience at the New York City Ballet, is known for her candid outspokenness against body shaming in the ballet world—a place often shadowed by stringent beauty standards and patriarchal challenges. Sharing the stage with her daughter Violet has been a long-held dream and a powerful parenting moment.
Violet has grown up backstage, familiar with the theater and the performers. Yet, professionalism is a lesson Bouder emphasizes, instructing Violet on the nuances of stage presence like when to smile without overstepping decorum.
The life of a ballerina is often seen as a fantasy career, but it’s one filled with real-world pressures. While some changes towards healthier body images are emerging, Bouder remains vocal about her personal experiences with body shaming. She keeps no secrets from her daughter, allowing Violet to understand the challenges that lie ahead if she pursues a ballet career.
Violet’s confidence is notable; she even reassures her mom, saying, ‘Mom, you look great,’ whenever she notices Bouder questioning her reflection. Bouder hopes for a healthier ballet culture, where young dancers receive better nutritional guidance and mental health support.
The world of ballet is slow to change, whether in terms of body positivity or gender balance in leadership roles. Bouder, a self-proclaimed feminist, dreams of more women in leadership within ballet companies to guide the next generation, including role models like Violet.
Beyond her career, Bouder’s approach as a mother eschews the traditional ‘stage mom’ approach. She stays supportive yet unintrusive, only stepping in when absolutely necessary, such as addressing issues of bullying.
Violet’s time at the School of American Ballet, and her participation in ‘The Nutcracker’ demand rigorous auditions, which Bouder navigates with advice on handling the pressures that come with it, especially with a famous mom by her side.
Motherhood has shifted Bouder’s priorities, enhancing her friendships and self-compassion, and teaching her what’s truly important. Ballet remains her passion, but not her singular focus. Her greatest performance now is teaching Violet to balance ambition with happiness.
Ashley Bouder and her daughter Violet de Florio’s shared stage journey in ‘The Nutcracker’ is more than a performance—it’s a testament to navigating life’s stage with grace, resilience, and the joy of family. As Bouder continues to dance, she also paves the way for future female leaders in ballet, embodying the change she wants to see while supporting Violet’s budding passion.
