From Perfectionist to Parent A Journey of Resilience

Natasha Thapar-Olmos, a self-confessed perfectionist, always pushed herself to extremes in school and work. However, becoming a mother forced her to reconsider her life’s approach and the values she wanted to impart to her daughter.

Natasha grew up embodying the classic eldest daughter stereotypes—an overachiever, a people-pleaser, and a rule follower. Her teenage years were largely spent adhering to her Indian immigrant parents’ strict rules and focusing intensely on her academic performance. High school saw her channeling these traits into an obsession with grades, lamenting a singular B+ that dashed her valedictorian dreams. College life didn’t alter her priorities; she continued to prioritize academic success over social experiences, losing sleep over the mere prospect of subpar grades.

Despite achieving her career goals and earning tenure as a psychologist, Natasha found herself unfulfilled. This revelation, supported by her therapist, led to her decision to have a child in her late 30s. Pregnancy brought with it a forced pause on her usual overpreparation tendencies due to her hectic six-day work schedule. Yet, even without extensive preparation, she faced the inherent uncertainties of parenthood.

Breastfeeding challenges in her postpartum period forced Natasha to confront her default lens of success versus failure, leading to guilt and self-doubt. However, a pivotal interaction with a lactation consultant over Zoom brought a shift in her perspective. This consultant, with her calm demeanor and experienced insights, helped Natasha see the value in experimentation, resilience, and focusing on being the parent her daughter needs instead of striving for some external standard.

Natasha’s journey illustrates the difficult task of navigating modern parenting styles amidst mental health challenges, social media pressures, and an educational system that equates self-worth with achievements. She has since embraced resilience over perfection by trying new activities, such as a satire writing class, and allowing herself not to excel at everything. Her goal is to show her daughter that innate worth is reflected in love and support, fostering resilience to face challenges with confidence.

Natasha hopes to set a lasting example for her daughter by showing that life is not about perfection but about resilience and learning from failures. This transformative journey signifies a shift from a perfection-driven life to one that values grace and adaptability.

Source: Yahoo

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