Gen Z’s Dilemma: Should I Stay or Should I Go

Gen Z teenager sitting on his bed, listening to music on his smartphone
Gen Z teenager sitting on his bed, listening to music on his smartphone

Living at home post-college is pretty common these days. This Gen Z’er is living with their parents but feels the pull to move out. The guilt is real, though. It’s not easy balancing family loyalty and personal desires.

Our story kicks off with a young adult looking to fly the nest. However, family obligations and emotional strings are pulling them back. They took to Reddit for advice, wondering if they’re in the wrong for wanting a taste of independence. Here’s the full scoop on their heart-wrenching dilemma.

A Family in Transition

Our protagonist is 20 and ready for an independent life. They want to move closer to their university, just a short drive from their current home. But life at home is hectic. Their grandparents have moved to a retirement home, piling new responsibilities on their mother.

The Burden of Responsibility

The OP’s mother has been on sick leave, juggling doctor appointments and financial matters for the grandparents. Returning to work soon, she anticipates more chaos. In this mix, a dog and numerous chores add to the daily grind.

A sense of obligation ties the OP to these household duties. Their family comprises just their mom, stepdad, and themselves. It’s a small unit stretched thin, relying heavily on each other to keep things going.

The Strain of Unfulfilled Dreams

The OP has felt the itch to move out for almost a year.

Yet, their parents always seem to find a reason to keep them home. Whether it’s the grandparents’ situation or other household issues, obstacles keep cropping up.

This feeling of being guilt-trapped is potent. Being labeled an ‘egoist pig’ for wanting a change makes the decision even tougher.

But they’re financially ready to take the plunge. The thought of staying to ease their parents’ burden eats away at them. And so, the internal struggle continues.

Stepping Towards Independence

Even with the desire to leave, the OP plans to stay close. They want to be available if their family needs help. The intent isn’t to abandon but to find balance.

Financial independence is a significant factor here. They don’t rely on their parents’ money and have played a crucial role in the home since their early teens.

This sense of financial freedom further fuels their desire for independence, highlighting the maturity they’ve developed over the years.

Voices from Reddit

Reddit users have weighed in, providing supportive advice and reassurance.

Many see the parents’ actions as a way to hold onto help around the house. One user suggested being an adult means finding independence while staying connected to one’s roots.

Another user emphasized that maintaining a healthy adult relationship doesn’t mean living under the same roof. Boundaries are essential.

Setting Boundaries and Expectations

The advice to detach slowly rings true with a lot of folks.

Gradually lessening assistance, while remaining available, seems a balanced approach. This way, everyone adjusts to new roles and expectations.

Yet, this transition isn’t devoid of its emotional challenges. Letting go of old ties and ensuring family bonds remain intact is a delicate dance.

Building a Future on Firm Ground

Setting boundaries ensures personal growth isn’t stifled.

Encouragement from online communities bolsters confidence in their decision. It’s about making space for one’s future while maintaining family ties.

By prioritizing their own needs, they’re not just building a future for themselves. They’re also setting a precedent for healthy family dynamics.

Preparing for the Big Move

The OP needs to plan their move carefully.

Deciding on the right moment, without giving too much away, is crucial. Being ready to face their parents’ reactions is part of that preparation.

Crafting a New Chapter

Ultimately, leaving home is a step towards a new life chapter. It’s a journey every young adult must navigate.


Stepping out for independence doesn’t mean stepping away from family. Finding the balance is key.

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