Comedian Nikki Glaser was set to deliver a series of biting jokes at the 2025 Golden Globes. Yet, some of her sharpest jabs never saw the spotlight. From Alec Baldwin to Luigi Mangione, Glaser had quite the lineup of jest. Let’s explore what could have been.
While many tuned in to see Glaser’s comedic flair at the awards, her monologue was carefully curated. Not everything made the cut, and now, we’re getting a peek behind the curtain. Perhaps it’s no surprise when the sarcasm gets too spicy! But, these unspoken lines deserve a spotlight of their own.
The Diddy Scandal That Wasn’t
Glaser had planned a joke about Diddy that didn’t make it. Highlighting the music mogul’s controversial legal battles, she quipped, “This is the last time all of you will be in the same room until the Diddy trial.” It was deemed too risky, implying the audience’s involvement and risking backfire.
Catholic Church Quips
A joke aimed at the Catholic Church was also shelved. Titled ‘Conclave,’ Glaser teased about a new pope movie, suggesting, “It will touch you so much that the church will have to move it elsewhere.” It was scrapped for stepping on well-trodden pedophile tropes.
Glaser acknowledged that such jokes are overly familiar, and new material is always more desirable.
Adrien Brody’s Historical References
Adrien Brody was another target. With his roles in ‘The Pianist’ and ‘The Brutalist,’ Glaser joked, “A two-time Holocaust survivor.”
She cut a subsequent line about Brody hypothetically thanking baby Hitler. Her assistant argued it would alienate younger audiences.
Glaser admitted, though she loved it, the risk of losing audience understanding made it a no-go.
Mangione and the ‘Hit Man’ Gag
Luigi Mangione, infamous for a high-profile murder case, was part of another joke. Linking Glen Powell’s nomination for ‘Hit Man’ with Mangione, Glaser said, “Second-hottest hit man in America?”
This nod to recent news was cut for its potential insensitivity.
Even in humor, timing and societal norms hugely impact what’s acceptable to broadcast.
Nicole Kidman’s Robotic Comparison
Nicole Kidman narrowly escaped comparison to ‘The Wild Robot.’
Glaser considered saying Kidman, after two white wines, resembles the film character.
She felt Kidman’s reaction might not be in good humor, so it was held back.
Timothée Chalamet’s Mustache Miss
Glaser took aim at Timothée Chalamet but skipped a Bob Dylan dig. Rather than focus solely on the actor’s facial hair, she’d jotted down a joke about how Bob Dylan’s real-life development involved more vices.
“Heroin and autism,” she mused, but the cultural sensitivity may have been questioned.
In the end, Chalamet’s mustache seemed the safer route.
Alec Baldwin and ‘Rust’
A particularly dark joke about Alec Baldwin’s ‘Rust’ incident was left on the page.
Connecting Michael Keaton’s ‘Beetlejuice’ and Baldwin’s tragic on-set mishap, Glaser acknowledged its mean tone.
Sometimes, discretion is the better part of humor, something Glaser wisely recognized.
Ben Affleck’s Relationship Roasts
Affleck’s romantic history was fair game, yet largely unused. Jabs about which Jennifer he’d ‘ruin’ next were too close to home. Meanwhile, a more benign quip about his vocal exclamations in intimate moments made the cut.
The decision highlighted the fine line between funny and personal.
Glaser showed her knack for steering clear of intimate personal attacks in her finalized set.
The ‘Joker 2’ Gamble
Offering what she dubbed ‘the blunt version,’ Glaser cut a potentially controversial joke.
“During ‘Joker 2,’ I hoped someone would shoot it up, reminiscent of initial fears surrounding its predecessor.”
A sharp tongue sometimes needs its reins, and this instance was no different.
Nikki Glaser’s behind-the-scenes choices at the Golden Globes reflect her comedic sensibility—where the line of taste meets timing. While not every joke could be told, her wit remains undeniable. The laughter shared and the quips left unsaid paint a full picture of a night worth remembering.
Source: Variety
