In a world where rejection stings sharper than disappointment, a new method emerges to soften the blow. Sean Kernan recounts the moment his wife, after confidently awaiting a second interview for her dream job, received a rejection email. “I’ve been better,” she admitted, the news hitting hard after years of success. Her experience is one many can relate to—where an opportunity snatched away leaves us questioning our worth. But there’s hope yet, as Kernan unveils a unique approach to reframing rejection: the ‘rejection collection.’
Sean Kernan shares a deeply personal story of his wife’s interview for a tenured professor position, a role she seemed destined to land. Despite an impressive preparation routine and sky-high expectations, she found herself facing an unexpected rejection. As a supportive partner, Kernan reminded her of the fierce competition she faced, each candidate as capable as the next. Nevertheless, the rejection was a bitter pill to swallow, intensifying her self-criticism.
Many of us have faced similar situations where initial optimism is met with unwelcome rejection. Kernan himself recounts numerous instances from his corporate life, instances where enthusiastic feedback from interviewers disintegrated into disappointment. Rejection, he notes, never truly loses its sting—it’s always felt personally.
According to Dr. Ethan Kross, a psychology professor, the brain processes rejection similarly to physical pain, underscoring why it feels so acute. This emotional bruise is what led Kernan’s therapist to suggest something radical—the ‘rejection collection.’ It’s an approach designed to demystify rejection by sharing these experiences with empathy and openness.
By cataloging instances of rejection into a shared document, Kernan and others found solace. He recounts personal stories—notably, his near-signing with Penguin Random House and awkward missteps on the dating scene—that when shared, become less about failure and more about human experience. Whether it was being brutally cut from a soccer team or awkward rejections in professional settings, these stories, when told, transformed into tools for connection rather than isolation.
The process encourages laughter and self-deprecation, lightening the heavy load rejections impose. Psychology professor Dr. Mark Leary suggests that sharing these moments fortifies communal bonds, transforming what often threatens our sense of belonging into a shared, strengthening experience.
Kernan describes the therapeutic nature of recounting rejections with friends, marveling at their stories and finding camaraderie in mutual vulnerability. These discussions peeled away the layers of insecurity and offered comfort, proving that not only does everyone face rejection, but they also endure and thrive post-rejection.
The rejection collection, thus, serves as a reminder that rejection is neither the first nor the last step in life’s grand scheme. It channels the energy of these setbacks into establishing stronger social ties and fosters a mindset of self-forgiveness and resilience.
In essence, the ‘rejection collection’ offers a refreshing perspective on dealing with life’s inevitable setbacks. It’s about recognizing the courage it takes to face potential rejection and finding solace in shared experiences. By celebrating these moments, we not only diminish their sting but also strengthen our bonds with others, fostering a supportive network that stands resilient against the harsh whispers of our inner critic.
Source: Yahoo
