Mom Challenges Norms with Her Grown Kids at Home

In today’s rapidly changing world, the concept of a ‘successful launch’ for young adults seems to be shifting. Traditionally, turning 18 meant leaving the nest—whether off to college or a new job. However, for Rhode Island’s Lori Meo, and many parents like her, the story unfolds a bit differently.

Back in the ’90s, growing up in the U.S., the path was clear: hitting 18 typically meant waving goodbye to family living. The few who stayed were often seen through a lens of stigma—it suggested something had gone wrong. Yet, when exposed to different cultures, like during an enlightening stint in Spain, it became evident that living with family into adulthood wasn’t unusual. In fact, in places like Madrid, it was quite normal and free of shame.

Fast forward to now, and this living arrangement is increasingly familiar stateside. Census data shows that over half of 18-to-24-year-olds stay with their parents. Several factors contribute to this trend. Financial pressures play a central role—wages haven’t kept pace with the skyrocketing cost of living. College grads often find themselves shackled by student loans, and for many, moving back home is a strategic move, not a fallback.

Parents’ perceptions have evolved too. The ‘sink or swim’ mentality is fading, replaced by a desire to support children until they establish themselves. “It’s common for parents now to help without pressuring their kids to leave home at 18,” psychologist Caitlin Slavens observes. This additional time at home allows young adults to explore career paths without feeling rushed. Robert Roopa, a clinical psychologist, notes that being forced to leave too soon can land them in precarious situations, hindering career satisfaction.

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Lori Meo, a mom making waves on TikTok, has embraced this mindset. Her transparent approach to parenting her ‘adult-ish’ children, aged 22 and 24, involves giving them the freedom to stay home indefinitely, as long as they’re respectful and hardworking. “They can live here forever if they do what’s right,” Meo says. She permits overnight guests and doesn’t charge rent, acknowledging this might not align with everyone’s views.

Her rationale for overnight stays started from a place of safety. When her son’s girlfriend had a long drive home late at night, allowing her to stay over became a logical choice. This set a precedent for her daughter’s relationship. Yet, Meo draws the line at casual dating.

Financially, Meo’s arrangement is pragmatic. Her children are engaged in paying their insurance and phone bills, alongside a truck payment. In return, they contribute by helping on their farm. “They work hard with the animals and property, and my son’s girlfriend is like family,” she shares. Open talks on money matters keep everyone on the same page, ensuring the kids are responsible with their finances.

Meo’s approach has resonated with many. Most feedback on her TikTok has been positive, even drawing praise from celebrities like Rosie O’Donnell. “I was surprised by how many agreed with me,” Meo admits. Many from other countries shared it was their norm too, highlighting a cultural shift in family dynamics.

While some embrace this setup, others warn about potential pitfalls. Psychologist Vanessa Scaringi stresses the importance of responsibility. “Without accountability, adult children might struggle to develop life skills,” she cautions. Responsibilities like contributing to household chores or covering expenses can introduce accountability.

Boundaries, too, are crucial for harmony. Scaringi advises limits on aspects like overnight guests to balance treating adult children respectfully without taking advantage. When expectations are clear, extended family cohabitation can be beneficial, offering a cushion to clear debts, complete education, or save for future independence. “It’s about providing the freedom to take ownership until they’re truly ready to leave,” Roopa concludes.

The evolving trend of adult children living at home reflects broader cultural and economic shifts. It challenges traditional views, presenting a pragmatic approach to today’s financial realities and shifting family dynamics. As more families adopt this model, the notion of what it means to successfully ‘launch’ is being redefined, embracing a more holistic view of adulthood and independence.

Source: Yahoo